Learning to be a Better Human – Part One
Words
Words – so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them
– Nathaniel Hawthorne
There are villagers in the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific who had a unique method in cutting trees. If a tree was too large to be felled with an ax, the villagers would gather around the tree and yell at it for 30 days. The tree would die and fall over. The idea was to kill the soul of the tree.
Words are magical. In stories, magical creatures cast spells and other actions to influence external events or actions. In fact, the word ‘spell’, to spell a word, actually influenced the idea of casting a spell, to use magic to influence others. The root “spellam” means “story, tale, saying, history, narrative,” and in the middle ages the term started to take on the meaning of magical incantation. Interestingly, another magical word, ‘Abra cadabra’ means ‘it will be created in my words,’ from its Aramaic root ‘Avra Kadavra.’
Words can create and destroy. Within the magical worldview everything is deeply connected, we have to be cautious of the words we use and understand the meaning of our vocabulary.
We forget to feel the words, the depth behind each incantation, and we forget what it actually means…. Words bind you to the images you attach to it, it’s a spell of the greatest kind.
Our subconscious mind interprets what it hears very literally. Our words create the reality we inhabit. Therefore, we should err on the side of caution when we use words without reflection. Our words pave the path for our mind and body to follow.
- Observe your internal monologue – I found this to be very difficult. The incessant chatter that goes on in the mind is truly shocking. I didn’t realize how often I told myself lies and acted based on my emotions.
- Name the voices –Elif Shafak’s book, Black Milk, takes us into the cacophony of her mind. As a Sufi, Shafak believes that, “to be human…means to live with an orchestra of conflicting voices and mixed emotions.” She named each of the voices based on their traits such as Little Miss Practical, Dame Dervish, Milady Ambitious Chekhovian, and Miss-High Browed Cynic. I find that once we name the voices in our head, we not only acknowledge its power on us but we hold the power to transform it as well. To name is to pay attention.
- Reframe the words you use – This is the stage I struggle with. I am learning how to reframe the words I use when I talk to the mini-me(s). I am learning to overcome the negative aspects of my personality via acknowledgment and coaxing it towards the positive side. My definition of positive and negative is simply the traits that help or hinder my growth.
- Avoiding “absolutes”– I catch myself using words like – always, never, or impossible and immediately stop that mental track. Change is the only constant.
- Breaking core beliefs – Beliefs can only be broken once we expand our minds. Meet people from different walks of life, read books that you would otherwise not read, and question staunch beliefs.
- Improve your grammar – Once I decided to write as a profession, I had to revisit my grammar lessons. It extended my spiritual knowledge of the self. There’s a passage from the book “Everything is a verb,” by Soren Kerk that explains this very well.
“Think about even the way you think about yourself: this is either as a noun or a verb! You ride the range: you may now be a free happy spirit or you may be a heavy, hot, wet, dirty dishrag, incredulous that you are reading this. Some moments, you may be an empty vessel, open to the universe around you. You are not constant. At each moment you might fall into the trap of thinking that you are that noun. But you change. In her book “The Game of Life and How to Play it”, Florence Shinn reminds us to never call yourself a bad name. If you say to yourself for example, “Oh, I am such a jerk,” your subconscious will believe it. As she puts it: Your subconscious has no sense of humor.” Soren ends the section on grammar with: “Words are not things. Words operate. Words do.”
I don’t pray nor am I particularly religious but I love exploring religious texts to develop an understanding about life. The Bhagavad Gita expounds that energy and strength exist in many forms and have varied expressions. Just as electricity can be used for cooling and heating, a person’s energy can likewise be used for creation or destruction. It depends on what one chooses and how much skill one has in using his energy.
People in general are very much influenced by the suggestions of others, and suggestion is, in fact, the very basis of modern education. It is the wrong method of education that leads a person to lose their ability to inquire and follow blindly with what’s been told without logic and reasoning. In modern life, we see most people selling their ideas, trying to prove that they are right – to support their notions they quote scriptures or seek the justification of others. Such a person gives many suggestions to their own mind, for before one can seduce others – they must first seduce themselves.
The Gita advises against wasting the power of speech in useless discussions, talking nonsense, lying intentionally, hurting others, condemning others, or speaking against another’s religion. If we instead choose to conserve our power of speech, it can become so powerful that whatever is said comes to pass.
Changing our habitual ways of thinking and speaking isn’t an easy task to undertake. If we continually work on ourselves and repeatedly practice, we can evolve into higher version of ourselves. Human brain is made up of neurons. Different actions establish different neural connections which brings about different emotions. Our actions stimulate the neural connections and repeated actions are strengthened. That’s why habits are so hard to change. Neuroscientists discovered that the brain has great plasticity and can change, evolve, and transform. It is molded by experience, repetition, and intention.
So, if we change our language and improve the way we talk – can we program ourselves into better beings?
Not yet.
–To be continued in Part II.
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